I've been stressing out lately. To the thought of in any second, I might die and rot in fucking Hell.Yes, that's what I've been up to.
I'm growing up too fast. One moment you're in kindergarten, playing "masak-masak" in a toy house outside, the next you're in high-school, wrapped around 4 things, pressure, drama, hypocrites and haters. I feel like life is such a waste of time, I don't really understand for my existence. Just like the poem, "Life's Brief Candle". One day I'll be gone, nothing to remember me by and I'm just sad sad tale told by a fool. TRU DAT SHAKESPEARE! TRU DAT!
I don't really care to care anymore. It's like, I suddenly don't mind about anything. Things such as death. I'm completely calm to the thought of one day I'll die and leave nothing behind. I guess the quote, "Live like you're dying" doesn't really signify what I'm defying ey? Oh well.
Most people have a "Bucket List". Things they would like to do before they die. Most would say, "Skydiving" or something crazy like "Own a snake". Well mine was, 1. To milk a cow in New Zealand. 2. To meet Brendon Urie. But face it, 1. I'll need to succeed in life to have cash to go to NZ, but is it really worth it... study my ass off - to milk a cow? 2. I WILL NEVER MEET BRENDON URIE. End. I got that piece of that shitty reality in my head already, no need a reminder.
Currently, this is my "Bucket List".
I used to have dreams, big dreams, I used to believe in so many things. Now, I just don't. I feel soulless. Some might know how dead I feel. But is it really a feeling? Feeling... dead?
I'm content to the thought of being alone. I prefer being alone. Nobody needs me and hell, I don't need anybody.
