I'm pathetic and I'm weak. Impacted and I feel so sick. Polluted, I'm scarred! My flesh, it shows! My heart, it bleeds! Isn't there anyone out there? Evidently, there is. But who am I, I'm not worthy. For even God is disappointed in me. I don't want to move, I won't move, for I know I will make another mistake. Though even if I didn't, karma will hit me for all the shit that I've made. So here I am, alone in this world. Thanks for caring, dear dry paint on the wall. I'll just lay here on the cold tiles, breathing the rust and dust. It's okay, I'm not cold. The breeze is just passing by to give me a hug. Thank you cold breeze.
What now? I'm going nuts? Nuts like peanuts. These peanuts I see on the dirty pavement floors. What a delight, I guess that's my supper for tonight. I like food, the leftover's by the ice-cream parlor. Ice-cream is a treat, dripping under children's feet. I arise and I show myself, the children run. Cones, they toss at me. Mmm, yummy.
CREEP! They screamed at me. As they pointed and laughed. Remembering my teenage years, they used to do the same. Mummy always told me, one day you'll grow up and be a real man, don't worry, those kids will regret it one day. Mummy, you lied. I never grew up to be a real man. You left me and went into Earth, you never came back. You left me mum, like how daddy left me. I'm alone mum, I'm alone. Why did you go away mum? Why? Do you remember dinner time, when you and me drank liquor? Though I was only 12, mummy you didn't bother.
Liquor, gin, vodka and beer. Ever since mummy went away, I drank these with all mummy's savings. Look where it got me. Depressed, level 19.
Muscles, limbs and flesh, all of these, I have. Guts they function but not willingly. I could but I wont. Cause I'm too scared to move for the roads all seem shallow and dark. I'm alone and I'm scared. " just don't dare.
