Sunday, October 31, 2010

Black black, black and blue



Hello bruises!

Most experts would know how the hell I got this. But I'll give you guys multiple choices.

A. I fell down a flight of stairs.
B. Failing at kicking a ball and ended up kicking a signpost.
C. Purposely hitting self with a hammer.
D. Epic bitch fight.
E. Mindlessly leaned on a hot steel at a mamak store.
F. Trying to go pro and the motorbike and accidentally leaned on the exhaust.
G. I got bite by a dog.
H. Skin infection.
I. Hardcore lovebite.

Basic science and logic would help cancel out the wrongs.

Have fun guessing!

Hello November

I've been under wraps, keeping life to myself. But unfortunately for me, things got out. But funny how those things that "got out" isn't even true. Funny how lies just start ykno, just like that. I don't even know when lies start and where it came from. The roots. Ykno. It's weird. All that I know is that, well, I don't lie to myself or to my friends. My friends know me best and maybe even more than I know myself. So all these lowlifes and idiots and stupid pathetic dumbfucks should really really know the meaning of getting a life. Seriously, is my name so delicious that it's in everyone's fucking mouth? Nuff said, I'm tired of wrong assumptions. Have fun, mofos.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Yaaaaaaaaawn

"I'm a mess. Polluted, distorted and a handfull. In conclusion, I'm pretty much a trainwreck. But I love you. I just do. If you told me to give you atleast 10 reasons, I'd give you a million. I'd write it in my wedding vows. I'd scar it all over my flesh. For you to know, that I do. But who am I to be loved, I'm not nice, I'm not a ball of sunshine. Infact I'm really emo and deep about things. I've done things I regret now. I've done things I know that's wrong but I still do it anyway. I still do the things I tell myself not to. I would change but that wouldn't mean I'd have you. And I could change for myself but I don't want to. I don't see the point. I'm a mess but I'm content. But if I had you that would be everything I could ever need. Unfortunately, I don't have you. And I'm still breathing..."

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Hi

I'm an adrenaline junkie, I have a life and I've been fucking it real good. Thank you, bye.

Boredom part #9

1. Name the first thing in your mind when you see these words.

2. Relationships
Forever alone.

3. Your Last Ex
A mistake.

4. Power
Superman.

5. Food
Hotdogs.

6. Drugs


7. The President
Shima.

8. War
I'm listening to Jay Sean - War.

9. Cars
Can't wait to get my own set of wheels :-)

10. Gas Prices
Not my problem.

11. Halloween
Is coming up, can't wait :-)


12. Religion
I put all my faith and hopes in Allah S.W.T.

13. Politics
Yawn.

14. Myspace
~tH0$3 Wh3r3 tH@ d@ys!~

15. Worst Fear
Honestly, snakes.

16. Marriage
Forever alone.

17. Sex


18. Fashion
Lady Gaga.

19. Brunettes
Jesicca Serfaty.

20. Redheads
Trolls.

21. Work
MONEYY $$$

22. Football
Nigeria VS Germany = NIG vs GER. HEHEHEHE

23. Animals
Love em :)

24. Vanilla Ice
Starbucks.

25. Porta Potties
:(

26. Pajamas
Rapist.

27. Pictures
:'(

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Boredom part #8

Wrath
Who did you last get angry with?
An ex of mine.

What is your weapon of choice?
An axe or a knife, or a blade, Something sharp.

Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
Yes. Been there, done that.

How about the same sex?
Yes. Been there, done that.

Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
How the hell should I know who's the last ;)

What is your pet peeve?
I tend to stare.

Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
I usually just throw it all out.

Sloth
What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't?
Take my meds.

What is the latest you've ever woken up?
6PM.

Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
No, I wont name him.

What is the last lame excuse that you made?
I'm a teenager.

Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
No.

How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning?
I didn't, I can wake up in the morning ok :)

Gluttony
What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
I don't drink yuppie.

Are you a meat eater?
Yes.

What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
5%

Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits?
Yes.

Do you enjoy candy and sweets?
Yes.

Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods?
Everything BUT salty.

Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?
No O_O

Greed
How many credit cards do you own?
Don't have any.

If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
Most probably luxuriate myself with tranquilities.

Would you rather be rich or famous?
Rich.

Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks?
Heh yeah.

Pride
What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of?
Honestly can't think of any.

What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
Honestly can't think of any.

What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life?
Fucking Brendon Boyd Urie.

Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
Not really.

Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
Yes.

Have you ever cheated to get a better score?
Yes.

What did you do today that you're proud of?
I went to school...

Lust
How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)?
HAHAHAHA how dare you remind me of naked people

How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, doctors, family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)?
I don't know, I sometimes get paranoid as if people can see me... everywhere...

Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation?
HAHAHAHAHA yes.

What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice?
Hair. NOT PUBIC HAIR.

Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons?
No.

Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
No.

Envy
What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
Farhah's clothes and Rafeeqa's heels.

Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
Noone.

If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be?
Brendon's future wife.

Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes.

Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Yes.

What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
Clearer skin :/

What deadly sin...
Do you do the most often?
Ado aa.

Do you do the least often?
Things.

Is your favorite to act on?
Ado aa.

Boredom part #7

You
Name
Kiestina Binti Abu Saffian.

Ethnicity
Malay.

Height
155 1/2.

Hair Color
Black, dull, dark.

Eye Color
Black with a glowing blue iris.

Your opinions please?

Abortion
Fuck no.

Capital Punishment
Yes.

Immigration
No harm.

War
Fuck no.

America
Too much too handle.

Gay Marriage
Sorry, but I don't approve.

The Economy
Dying, dead and gone.

What

Political Party are you
Not really a political person.

Extrovert or Introvert
Or.

Favorite sport
Tennis.

Favorite person from that sport
Roger Federer.

Favorite person
Brendon Boyd Urie.

Bothers you
Everything.

Are you passionate about
Life.

Do you really think about yourself
A mess.

Mas
Favorite culture
French village.

Most attractive ethnicity
I don't know.

Favorite childhood cartoon
Powerpuff girls and Hey Arnold.

Favorite childhood memory
Going to the park every single afternoon.

Favorite subject
Science.

What do you want to be when you grow up
Something to do with business.

What would be your ideal life
Me, myself and I in my cozy apartment in Las Vegas.

Boredom part #6

1- Would you rather have a fun fling or a lasting relationship?
Long lasting.

2- What was your longest relationship?
11 months and a few weeks.

3-What is your favorite personality trait?
A sense of humour.

4- What is the most romantic thing a significant other could do?
Saying the littlest things that could last in the memory for life.

5- When you are dating someone, what is the most important thing to you?
Have a blast.

6- Do you like pet names (ex: baby, sweetheart...)?
Yessssss :) lol I'm a sucker for these.

7- What is your ideal night out with a significant other?
Spontaneous, wild, carefree and filled w adrenaline.

8- What is your ideal night in with a significant other?
Movies, cuddling, fooooooood.

9- Would you be able to tell someone you love them, even if you didn't feel it?
Guilty. I have done shit like this.

10- Do you like relationships that invovle serious commitments?
If I'm ready, ofcourse I like it.

11- If you ever got engaged, how would you want it to happen?
In the most romantic way ever.

12- If you were engaged, would you want a wedding as soon as possible?
Well I want to get proposed with a ring right.

13- Do you like to talk about the future when in a serious relationship?
I try avoiding the topic... I used to like it, now I don't.

14- Do you prefer a sensitive open relationship or a strong silent type?
I like it open.

15- When in a relationship do you have to have contact with your partner on a daily basis?
Kinda.

16- Do you like public displays of affection?
Like it, not really. But if I happen to do PDA, I am so sorry. lol.

17- Is there anything you won't tolerate while in a relationship?
Cheating.

18- What is one thing that you value most in a relationship?
Everything.

19- Would you ever be able to handle a long-distance situation?
Tried the whole long-distance thing, couldn't handle it.

20- Do you believe in moving in together before engagement or marriage?
Strongly, disagree.

Boredom part #5

Your other half.

What is his name?
MFY.

How old is he?
Seventeen.

Where does he live?
Shah Alam, Selangor, Malaysia.

How old are you?
Fifteen.

Where do you live?
Shah Alam, Selangor, Malaysia.

When did you meet?
Infront of my school, my ex introduced him to me.

what did you think of him when you first saw him?
He's a nice guy, nice friend, nice person.

When did you hook up?
Heh, I wouldn't say we actually did.

When was your first kiss?
That one night.

What was running through your mind when you first kissed him?
"Wow" lol

Is he in the military?
Too young -,-

Is it a long distance relationship?
Nooo, not exactly.

How many times do you talk to him in a week?
I don't really keep count...

How many times do you see him in a week?
Heh.

What do you love more his hugs or his kisses?
I love him, his plain self.

Does he play any sports?
I think so.

What is his favorite food?
Guilty, I don't know.

What is his favorite take out place?
And again, I don't know. Frown :(

Have you guys ever kissed outside at night?
Maybe...

Have you ever slept together (naps included)?
Maybe....

Have you ever danced?
Hahaha yessssssssss, it was during my birthday celebration :D

Does he have any tattoos or peircings? If so, where?
Not that I know of...

Boredom part #4

Finish the sentences

I love...
MFY.

Right now I want...
MFY.

I feel like...
a loser.

I hate it when...
MFY doesn't text or call.

I fear...
God.

I'm lonely without...
MFY.

I need...
Oxygen, Nitrogen, Carbon dioxide and other gases.

Today I...
am still wide awake.

Tomorrow I'm...
probably having a better day.

I just...
want you.

I want to meet...
you.

I'm hungry for...
some chocolate chip cookie sundae at Bubbagump.

I love it when...
I'm with him.

I'm afraid of...
snakes.

I'm listening to...
J-Holiday.

I'm wearing...
A top and underwear.

I wish I was in...
Las Vegas.

I want to get...
satisfying results.

I can't...
seem to understand life anymore.

I'm nervous to...
go on dates.

My Mom thinks I'm...
a bitch and really hard to cope with.

My Dad thinks I'm...
How should I know, I'm not that close w him.

I'm happy when...
Someone knows exactly what I need.

I'm sad when...
Noone bothers about me.

I'm disappointed that...
Someone lies to me.

I wish I looked like...
Jessica Serfaty.

Boredom part #3

Fears (I Would/I Would Not/I Have)

Touch a snake
I have

Ride in a hot-air balloon
I would

Sky dive
I would not

Scuba dive
I would

Sing in front of a huge audience
I would not

Sit in the front of a roller coaster
I have

Walk through a graveyard alone at night
I would

Join a space mission
I would not

Call off a wedding
I would not

Walk naked through a crowded city
I would not

Call Mike Tyson a girl to his face
I would not

Disarm a bomb
I would not

Clean the outside windows on a skyscraper
I would

Go on tour with a rock band
Panic! At The Disco, I would (Y)

Go skinny dipping in mixed company
I would not

Heckle a comedian at a comedy club
I would

Eat something really gross
I have

Boredom part #2

The perfect partner.

How tall should they be?
Tall enough, taller, please.

What should they weigh?
Weigh? This one, I don't really mind.

What hair color should they have?
Natural hair colour is just fine.

What kind of personality should they have?
A sense of humour is an absolute must (Y)

Older or younger?
Prefer them older.

Serious or carefree?
A little more to carefree.

Spontainous or hesitant?
Spontaneous fersure (Y)

Brutally honest or tight-lipped?
Somewhere in the middle.

Beautiful or intelligent?
I don't need neither :)

Movie or a restuarnt?
I love dinners, lunch, hiteas, supper! I love food.

What film actor should they most be like?
Landon from a walk to remember.

What singer should they most be like?
HEHEHE Brendon Boyd Urie.

Should they make all the money?
They could but I can do on my own.

Do they need to cook?
If they could it would be a plus.

What is their best body part?
Upper; chest, abs, triceps, biceps (Y) Ahh

What body part do you not care about?
His foot? lol

Desk job or physical labour?
Up to him yaw.

What car should they drive?
One that I can ride in ;)

What one thing completely turns you off?
Serious, too mature, too uptight, ugh.

What one thing completely turns you on?
SENSE. OF. HUMOUR.

Boredom part #1

Who was your last text from?
Azeem Azhar.

Where was your default picture taken?
I don't remember, somewhere in Subang?

Whats your middle name?
I don't have one :(

Whats on your mind?
Pidot.

Does your crush/GIRLfriend/BOYfriend like you back?
I don't know.

What is your current mood?
Eager with a dash of bored.

What is your moms name?
Hazlina.

What color shirt are you wearing?
Purple.

Are you close with your dad?
I... no.

If you could go back in TIME and change something, would you?
Honestly, no.

Have a crazy side?
I wonder, do I?

Ever had a near death experience?
Plenty (Y)

Something you do a lot?
Wonder off to outer space, yeah.

Angry at anyone?
Yes.

Favorite Month?
December.

Name someone with the same birthday as you?
Hillary Duff.

When was the last time you cried?
>:(

If you could have one super power what would it be?
The ability to make money right out of my flesh and skin.

Whats the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
His smile and/or his body, ehekehek.

What do you usually order from Starbucks?
Vanilla latte.

Favorite TV show(s)?
All time favorite, How I Met Your Mother.

Do you still watch kiddy movies?
I dig kiddy movies ok.

What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
I just swallowed muffins.

Do you speak any other language?
Yes, Malay.

Whats your favorite smell?
Burberry.

Describe your life in one word.
Slow.

Have you ever kissed in the rain?
No.

Ever kissed on the beach?
No.

What are you thinking about right now?
I thought I already told you?

What should you be doing?
Going out... having the time of my life...

Who was the last person that made you upset/angry?
This stupid ex of mine.

What are you listening to?
J-Holiday - Put you to bed.

Do you like working in the yard?
Yes.

Do you ever want to get married? kids?
Used to, now, not really.

Do you act differently around the person you like?
No, I hope not.

What is your natural hair color?
Dark, black and dull.

Who was the last person to make you smile?
Some stupid GIF.

What is your favorite meal at your favorite fast food restaurant?
Bigmac, McDonalds.

Do you cut out coupons?
For fun... yeah.. I call cutting coupons fun... yeah...

Whats the wierdest thing under your bed?
A box of lice shampoo my ex gave me, lol.

Sam Tsui



Sam Tsui and his angelic voice, I adore.

See what I mean

I need this


I want this

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Currently

Exams over



What to do, what to do



I wanna go to the beach



Build sandcastles



Go swimming



Try surfing?


With him...



I miss you...



I want a hug :(





Forever alone

19th October 2010

#1: You wanna know who I'm closest with now?
#2: Who?
#1: You.

10 reasons

I've known you for awhile now and I've never viewed you any more than just a brother. Then suddenly everything changed. That one night, I just.. looked at you and my heart sunk. Like a titanic. I don't even know. Now I just want to erase everything that made me so afraid of falling inlove and I want you to be a part of my new found life. From the heart, I'm speaking out of a broken window, save me.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Thursday, October 14, 2010

After pmr promises, fulfilled


On the last day of PMR, 11 October 2010, Monday me, the girls (Awateef, Mai, Farhah, Fiqa, Didi, Lisa, Dina, Rafeeqa) and Shamsul went to have dinner at Sunway, TGIF. And there, we dined great food. Suddenly, I had a surprise from the workers there :') Thanks guys. I know it's a little late but boy, I had a good time. The next day, 12 October 2010, me, Farhah, Dina and Rafeeqa checked into our hotel room, Sunway Resort, room 1221. Had lunch at Ole-ole bali and shopped a little and went back into our hotel room. Thank you Mum and Dad for the awesomest present evar :') We definitely had a good night, hihi. I'd like to keep the details under wraps ;) The next day 13th October 2010, me and the girls checked out of our hotel room around 12noon, planned to go to the Lagoon but since Rafeeqa and Fa are allergic to the sun we decided to go karaoke-ing :) From 4 innocent girls having a good time, it suddenly multiplied into 8. The room was hectic but we really had a good time. At night, I met with Shamsul, Dzikri and Izzy. The shisha-d at Sinbad while I introduced Rafeeqa to some good ol' barbican (Lol'd at Eeqa's face when she thought it was beer) Bought a pet Hermit Crab which I now call King-ky (Kinky, hihi) Rafeeqa laa -,- Spent the rest of the evening with them and sleptover at Farhah's place. The next day 14th October, went out a little and then I went home, FINALLY! My mum actually missed me, lol.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Beat the best if you can, bitch

Don't worry about me, I like seeing you happy

Like how Edward Cullen finds sleeping so interesting, I find your strength and willingness to move on really seductive, really pure and heartfelt. I told myself I shouldn't try and I'm not gonna :) Have fun with your life, best part of me, I'm content.

Jessica, cycle 14, ANTM


CAN I BE HER PLEASE

Saturday, October 9, 2010

I heart nerds


Forever yours I'll be, that genius I fell for, end of the year 08'. I remember November :)

You might hate me now, you might as well try to keep me out of your life. But boy, you're a part of me. Like fibre, you'll never be digested, you help me keep all the shit out and you're something I need to consume a lot :) Lol yeah, Science facts, loser much, I know. Anyway, bye, I'll be at the end of the phone, waiting for you. And I'm not gonna let go. Trust me, my words are exaggerated but I am honest.

Long live perverted ideas


Farhah Amani Rustam.


I've known her in less than a year or so? But we tight yo. I used to hate her back then (lol) it was because of some silly reason, so yeah, call me a hypocrite for suddenly being so close to her, I don't mind. All that I know is that I love her so much, hihi, xx.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Shouldn't be posting a blogpost

But I still am. Should be studying, but I don't want to. I JUST DON'T WANT TO. I had like 9 months to study, I didn't bother then, why should I now. It's too late ain't it? Yh, I've accepted that strong fact.

Monday, October 4, 2010

Long for the taste of a real bitch? Twist and lick

I now know the feeling of wasted love. I had so much to give, I just chose the wrong person to give it to. But hell, I've been down that road, that boulevard of broken dreams. Hell, I'm not even a yard away from that fatal downfall. I learn from my mistakes cause I learn from the best ;) I don't believe in fighting for love cause I believe love comes rolling down on you.

I love you now, I love you still. But like bread, one day it will stale.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Friday, October 1, 2010

Ever dated any of these?

Currently on the market? Good for you, girl! But make sure you read this post before rushing into a new relationship. Here are ten types of man that are not likely to make you happy, and from my point of view, it’s better to stay away from them as soon as they show one of these patterns.


1. Born complainers …

Nothing will ever be good enough for this man, you’ll always be too loud, too stupid, too happy…..Avoid him like you would the plague, you’ll never be good enough for him and he’ll just kill your self esteem.


2. ‘Damaged’ men …

… Who don’t want to be fixed. On your first date he’ll announce that he is not over his broken heart. On your tenth, you’ll realise that he isn’t just broken hearted; he enjoys it, and has made a solemn pact to never let anybody in again. His armour is so thick that you’ll never get through, so don’t waste your time trying.



3. Guys that love sports more then you …

Most guys will put a sport first at some point, but you know that he’ll be there for you if you need him. Guys who love sports too much, however, won’t care if the house is on fire or the babies crying, he’ll just want another beer and some “peace” to watch the match.


4. Men who analyse you …

He thinks he’s Freud, and analyses your every move, from the flavour of crisp you choose to what you watch on TV. He’ll sit with a smug smile, convinced that by labelling you he’ll be keeping you hooked. Soon he’ll be trying to “fix” you with his weird theories….bin him now.


5. Pretty-Pretty boys …

They will just leave you feeling ugly while he spends his time fixing his hair and acting more beautiful and delicate then you. Find a more masculine man, and leave him preening himself

6. Mr. Im-Better-Then-Everyone …

He won’t do you any favours either. He’ll never smile, or be happy for you, and if you spend long enough with him you’ll start to despise the human race too. Leave him to feel smugly better than anyone, and go meet someone amazing.


7. Paranoid men …

Something gave them the green eyed monster, and it’s just never gone away. He’ll presume your cheating, hate anything that makes you look good and constantly accuse you of flirting with others. He won’t be happy until he’s the only person in your life, so bail now.


8. Men who just haven’t grown up …

These men refuse to get a job, blame everyone else for their laziness and unhappiness, and are constantly outraged that they are not respected. If he hasn’t grown up by now, chances are he’ll never take any responsibility, so stay well clear.


9. Cheaters …

Obviously, it doesn’t matter who this guy has waiting for him at home, if he sees somebody he likes, he’ll seduce them. Save yourself the heartache and live by the old saying, “Once a cheater, always a cheater”, because if it wasn’t true, wouldn’t somebody have proved it wrong by now?


10. Cruel men …

The kind of man who gets off from the power of refusing to take you somewhere, or spend money on you, or any type of power at all. He won’t get better, and it’s not because he loves you. Walk away, as fast as you can


Bold the one's that you've dated before.

Here you go, friend

I hate it when we fight but then when we do, sparks light up and it starts a fire, if I don't fight back, it burns vigorously, faster and it may be fatal - And I don't like the way it burns.

The problem is, you 1.0 were the one who brought that whole sensitive issue up. I'm sorry for being rude - shame on me. But you shouldn't think that pity would bring you anywhere. You fed me guilt, I fed you shit. Doesn't it cancel out, hm? I'm tired of you playing victim all the time. And do you even like playing the role as the weak one? God. I was pissed, yeah, I could have said it in a nicer way, but hell you were asking for it. Seriously, your role as victim, I'm getting realllllly sick of it.

And to you 2.0, you shouldn't butt in like that as if you were the hero or some sort of "peacemaker". Realize that you actually contribute into the fight more than you actually tried to stop it. You should quit labeling us and start looking at your own self. I'm sick and tired of being labelled the bitch in the group. Like c'mon, that ain't a compliment infact it's insulting. Though some find that a good thing, I DON'T. Nuff said, you're a busybody and it's annoying. Stop acting like a hero cause I can solve my problems myself and so can "you 1.0".

I never intended to be all fucked up and hurt your feelings, but you guys should realize that both of you are exactly the same as me. True story.

RT @kieszaaap

Let's talk about the real definition for "I don't care".

I used to toss this sentence around as if it was Nitrogen. But never have I ever once meant it. But suddenly, things change and the way we think also develops. Now when I say I don't care, I actually mean what it means. It's not something I have to elucidate, it's not something I have to set a purpose for, it's not something irrelevant nor is it relevant. I just, don't care anymore. Everything feels so bitter now. I'm not even taking good care of myself anymore, why should I care for others? This sounds really emo but hell, I am. I give in, I give up.

"The taste and impact of hurt, brings me reason. What is life without hurt. Too bad I'm bulletproof."