YOU BITCHES AINT GOT NOTHIN' ON ME (!)

One blow from caving in

Hi mofos (:

Can you guys stop making shit up about me? I'm kinda bored with the news I get and well, you guys should stop meddling with such things. Jangan pathetic sangat, you guys ain't getting anything out of me, when I say "no", I mean no. So all these rumors, yeah, quit it, it's pathetic. Not even close to the truth. And guess what, pity is shit. I don't seek for pity. I'm pretty much happy with life sooooooo, why do you dumbfucks have something against it?

Let me feed you a little something something,

GET A FUCKING LIFE (!)

The funny shit you people say about yourself

Gosh, stop quoting yourself to be whatever you guys "think" you are. It's kinda, embarrassing. If you know what I mean. If you don't, well to bad, rot in Hell. Okay, bye (:

Stereotype

This world is judgmental. You apparently only have two choices. #1) Join the "play-God" crew or #2) Just don't give a fuck and not be a hypocrite.

So if you don't like to be judged for your mistakes/your past or whatever. Simply, if you don't like to be judged, then you shouldn't do it either (:

Don't go pointing other people's flaws and suddenly when someone hits you right back you go, "Only God can judge me". It's ridiculous and stupid. For real.

Hi fellas, I'm back (:

I'm no longer trying to hold on a broken dream. So hi mofos! Follow me on twitter (:



http://twitter.com/#!/kieszaaap

Soon to be (:

Twenty eight

♥

Number 3

DO NOT CHEAT
OR IT WON’T WORK AND
YOU WILL WISH YOU HADNT.

TAKE 3 MINUTES
TRY THIS - IT WILL FREAK YOU OUT



THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO ME SAID
HER WISH CAME TRUE 10 MINUTES AFTER SHE FORWARDED THE EMAIL

NO CHEATING!!!!













THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME.








DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT.






IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY


1st. Get PEN and PAPER

2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW

3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results.

4th SCROLL DOWN

ONE LINE AT THE TIME
DON..T READ AHEAD
otherwise
YOU WILL RUIN THE FUN.











1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT.







2. Next to the NUMBERS 1 & 2,

WRITE DOWN ANY
2 NUMBERS YOU WANT.












3. Next to the NUMBERS 3 & 7,

WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERS
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX. SAME SEX IF GAY













CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT














4. WRITE ANYONES NAME

(like FRIENDS or FAMILY…)
next to 4, 5, & 6.
















DON..T CHEAT OR YOU..LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID












5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11
















6. Finally,

MAKE A WISH




















ARE YOU READY?
HERE IS THE

KEY TO THE GAME
















1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE THAT LIKE YOU is found in

SPACE 2







2. THE PERSON IN SPACE 3

IS THE ONE YOU LOVE








3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is in

SPACE 7


.






4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put in

SPACE 4









5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHO

KNOWS YOU VERY WELL.









6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOUR

LUCKY STAR









7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THE

PERSON IN NUMBER 3








8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THE

PERSON IN 7







9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUT
YOUR MIND








10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOU

FEEL ABOUT LIFE








11. NUMBER 1 IS YOUR

LUCKY NUMBER



.repost this
WITHIN AN HOUR OF READING THIS.





IF YOU DO, YOUR WISH WILL COME TRUE

So sexy, whatchu on?

So in a few minutes, it's gonna be the 29th. But do I even dare to hope for a better tomorrow, not so. Expectations, screw them. So anyway, Imma talk about my 28th. So today was my bestfriend's 15th birthday; Happy Birthday to you Shahira Affandee (!)

We celebrated her birthday at Burger King, section 13. It was definitely something to remember. How can you top getting oozed by raw eggs and showered with flour then getting screamed at from a bald ugly old man? Lol, long story short, I had the time of my life. I wonder where the pictures are at?

After the big ass mess, me and Ira headed over to Amsyar's and we cleaned ourselves up and went for brunch at KGSAAS's cafe. Not-so-good food was served, but hey, I got to meet Amin there (: It's like that old saying, it takes rain to make a rainbow (cliché much) LOLOLOL I'm sorry, I'm kinda not myself right now... Cause well,

in another 1 month, Imma get my PMR results. :(

Ya Allah, I hope my results turn out good. Amin. Amin. Amin (!)

Toodles, poodles x

It's a pain in my chest that will never rest

There has never been a day when there wasn't a thought of you lingering at the back of my mind. And each and every memory that sweeps into my head, slowly consumes a deep bittersweet pleasure into my veins. I love those days when I had you to call my own but nonetheless, love is pain and I'm nothing but a broken record. And I really love you. God, I love you. But what am I to do, you're effortlessly falling for another. And I can't go on with holding this pain though for you I will. So what am I suppose to do now. I don't know if letting you go is really an option, now is it? Is it.

If I die young

All I want you to know is that I love you and I really do not know how to move on, from you, it's reluctant to even try. I love you, only you, no one else, just you. And all I want to know is that I hope you love me too.


...... But you don't.

I'm fucking better than you will ever be, dickhead

Dear ugly replica of a fucking troll, guess who's gonna fucking hurt you? Oh yeah, me. Do note that all the shit you've put me through, I have already let it pass. But boy, when you fuck with me, you fuck with the best. You see, I may appear to be patient but I am fucking not. I could break you, so easily, like a fucking toothpick -- SNAP AND SPIT, BITCH. So you better listen up, I've got a 180 aimed up to your fucked up face and the tip of my knife is a seconds away from stabbing your fag of back. Just a twitch at the bolster and baby, you bleed good. So what's it gonna be? Bow down and beg or bleed and die? Do remember, you're NOT bulletproof. And my bite is worse than my bark, do be-careful, you wouldn't want to lose your little prick, now do you?

I miss you

"Semakin hari, semakin rindu."

--- It's true, I never knew how to appreciate. Since 1995 till today. I never knew how much you were worth, not saying I thought you never meant anything, I'm just saying I took you for granted and oh how I wish I didn't. You never did much but you did everything and you did enough. You were everything I needed and everything I never knew I wanted. I have always loved you, I just never showed it the way I was suppose to. I regret everything. And these words doesn't even sound close to sincere but I am. I fucking regret everything. I wish I still had you. I just want to call you, I want you to answer, say "Hello" and just be on the phone with you.... At least, just to hear your voice. If you don't want to talk then let me hear the sound of your breath. I miss you. GOD, I MISS YOU. I miss us. I just, don't know how to move on, when I still believe we still have a chance... Please God tell me we still have a chance.

Who else is this for? Asides the one and only, it rhymes with Benry.

Mario Vasquez - Everytime I

I was, I was always quick to trip in turn and say I'm sorry. Guess I, guess I always thought that bitch made everything ok. I did, did my share of dirt I know you probably heard about me. When you, when you asked how... I would just lie to your face. And I, I didn't appreciate. Even when you walked away. I didn't realize that you were the one thing I should've kept 'part of me. And baby I just can't deal without you. You're all I need. I know I didn't say much but boy you're the only one. I'm trippin' without you. I think about it everytime I... I, I, I, I, I, I. Everytime I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I... Told you, told you you were insecure when you'd be asking questions. I had, had you second guessing yourself and what you mean to me. If I, if I could take it back I would (I would) If I could take it all back I would (I would)

Think about how you use to do
When I'm nights alone when I'm rockin' with you
I can't help but kick myself in the ass
Cause I'm sittin' here about to blow it
I know I can't take no more
Time to change it up for sure
Cause I'm not tryna let you go.

"Black and blue, I still love you."

But I just don't know

Day by day, everything just moves the same. I try to cope, trying to hope. Day by day, I keep on my search. For long-lasting happiness, one I used to feel when I was with you. Now living only feels like trying to stay alive. But what is living when it's only for survival? Cause boy, when I had you by my side, there wasn't a single day when I felt vulnerable. You were my prince, my knight and shining armor. But things happened and lightning came down on us before we even had a chance to work things out. I bled for you, you just never knew it, cause to you, I will always be that girl who broke your heart. Never realizing how much pain it actually put me through. How much I sacrificed for you. You called me heartless, you called me a bitch, you told me to rot in Hell. Well, I guess I will.

But before I do, I might as well breath while I still can. But how do I? Next year wont be my honeymoon year. She'll be there, you'll be there. Holding hands and laughing, sharing stupid shit that isn't even funny. Tell me how do you cope with knowing that the one you love is with someone else. Tell me how do you cope with knowing that the one you love is falling for someone else. Tell me how do you cope with SEEING the one you love be with the one who replaced you.

Well, pouring acid into my eyes would hurt but it will definitely not hurt as much as seeing you all over her.

Oh whatever. School 2011, will definitely be a bitch. --And I'm NOT prepared.

November 17th

Selamat Hari Raya Haji guys!

Today most of us would visit our relatives that lives far away. Some of them may have past away and headed closer to Allah and is truly missed by all. And Eid is a day to remember the ones you love and to cherish every moment. This day also reminds us of how lucky we are and teaches us to be grateful. So alas, have a great day! Let those tummies of yours have a fiesta! Smile, socialize! Don't be a buzzkill :)

Live like you're dying.

My one true love.

Brendon Urie <3

He holds me without touch, keeps me without chains.

Seriously, boy, why'd you got to be so perfect?

Panic! At The Disco, we miss you.

Panic <3

It has been a long time since I've heard news about Panic. About Brendon. About Spencer.

Dear Panic! At The Disco, there is  0.01% you might come across my blog and read this post, so I'm gonna take that chance to speak my mind and hope to God that  you're reading this, "Hi. I'm your biggest fan and I know Panic! has millions of fans too but it's safe to say that I'm one of those fans that has stood by Panic! ever since 2004. And to be frank, I'm also one of those fans that has a major crush on Brendon Urie. Anyway, I would like to say that us fans really miss Panic! There were rumors about "Oh Glory" coming out early January 2010, but it's already November... And well, we are kinda disappointed. We miss you. Please come back Panic, we'll always support you, all the way!"

LONG LIVE PANIC.

Love,
Kiestina.

Updates

My room rn :)

Well pictures lie. It's not done. At all. But I love the pink and the gray colours. It's really modern and kindergarten-like. Planning to go to Ikea for furniture shopping, join me :)

Steven Gerrard, Liverpool <3

"#8 on the field, #1 in my heart."

It was you

I remember I told you, I'd pick you over anyone. I remember I told you, even if "he" came back into my life, it'd still be you who I would love and devote my life to. I honestly meant it but things actually spooked me a little, I could feel that uncertainty and an emptiness in my words... So I left. I couldn't, I wouldn't, I never dared to hurt you. Not for the second time. But instead I did. But you never gave me a chance to explain. For this time, I really did what I had to do, for our sake, for us. I DID WHAT I HAD TO DO BECAUSE I LOVED YOU. And until now, I know it's still you. It's still you who I'd pick over anyone. I loved you and I thought you loved me. I thought love actually meant something, I believed in you... With you, love actually had a definition. But now you're gone and the memories, how do I erase them? You clearly did. I've had better days, and those days were the days I spent with you. But alas, it's all now a distanced memory. I wish you the best... but I also wish you were here. What now, oh... Back to life.

Dear God #postone

السلام عليكم

Allah is Forgiving, the all-Mighty and the one and only.

I would like to start this post with a little awareness. I am a Muslim. Though I show completely no sign of respect towards God's rules, I do believe deeply in God. And I also regret all of my wrong doings. From all the actions that I've made to all the hurt and pain I've put others through.

I have a story to tell you guys.

During my younger years, the days I didn't know about the evils that hide in this place called Earth... Every morning, the moment I wake up, as I lay on my bed, I would put my hands together and say "bismi-llāhi r-raḥmāni r-raḥīm" and hope for a good day. Never was there even one day when I'd forget all my prayers. The moment I enter the toilet, my head will remind me "Left feet first!". The moment I go out of the toilet, "Right feet first!". Every time there's a plate of food, nicely dined on the table... I'd sit patiently, waiting for everyone in my family to gather around. Daddy would say a prayer... after a moment of silence, daddy ends the prayer and we will all go, "Amin!".

I never thought one day I could forget my roots. My dear parents, they have thought me well. But I dared to forget. Nowadays, I can't even wake up in the morning. Instead, I slumber till the afternoon. And even when I wake up, do I even say a prayer or even hope for a good day? No, I don't. Cause I always "forget". When I go into the toilet, the voice that always reminds which leg goes in first just never speaks anymore. Why? I don't know. And now since Daddy's busy working in Johor, we never even gather together anymore. I honestly forgot what it feels like to have a family. Not wanting to show the bads of my family but hey, it's true, I feel alone. Now I eat alone in my room, watching tv, I don't even bother to say a prayer... cause I always "forget".

I lose more of myself each and every day. Guess who's sins have been multiplying ever since Form 2? Yes, indeed, mine. I lose myself to Setan and he consumes more and more of me every single day. But I have had enough. Yes, what's said is done and now I'm scarred. But I believe that Allah can forgive me. Cause Allah is Forgiving and Allah is Merciful.

I hope the day my time comes, the day I am consign to grave, I will leave peacefully and I have done everything that I could be proud of. I hope Allah can see how much effort a human can own and see how much I am trying.

All that I'm asking is for another chance. For another way to show, how much I love life. I will never take it for granted anymore. Dear God, hear me when I say, I love you so much. And I am grateful. And I'm sorry.

Well, I'll be damned

You, my dear, will forever be my weakness. No way of eliminating you. I tried, I really did. I tried to remove you, let you go, forget you... ended up being another failure. I never succeed anyway. I miss you, I just do. I MISS YOU! I just want to scream it at the top of my lungs and let my insides bleed.



This was me, a few minutes ago. Still will be.

Grieving. Yes I am.

Pedo

I'm pathetic and I'm weak. Impacted and I feel so sick. Polluted, I'm scarred! My flesh, it shows! My heart, it bleeds! Isn't there anyone out there? Evidently, there is. But who am I, I'm not worthy. For even God is disappointed in me. I don't want to move, I won't move, for I know I will make another mistake. Though even if I didn't, karma will hit me for all the shit that I've made. So here I am, alone in this world. Thanks for caring, dear dry paint on the wall. I'll just lay here on the cold tiles, breathing the rust and dust. It's okay, I'm not cold. The breeze is just passing by to give me a hug. Thank you cold breeze.

What now? I'm going nuts? Nuts like peanuts. These peanuts I see on the dirty pavement floors. What a delight, I guess that's my supper for tonight. I like food, the leftover's by the ice-cream parlor. Ice-cream is a treat, dripping under children's feet. I arise and I show myself, the children run. Cones, they toss at me. Mmm, yummy.

CREEP! They screamed at me. As they pointed and laughed. Remembering my teenage years, they used to do the same. Mummy always told me, one day you'll grow up and be a real man, don't worry, those kids will regret it one day. Mummy, you lied. I never grew up to be a real man. You left me and went into Earth, you never came back. You left me mum, like how daddy left me. I'm alone mum, I'm alone. Why did you go away mum? Why? Do you remember dinner time, when you and me drank liquor? Though I was only 12, mummy you didn't bother.

Liquor, gin, vodka and beer. Ever since mummy went away, I drank these with all mummy's savings. Look where it got me. Depressed, level 19.

Muscles, limbs and flesh, all of these, I have. Guts they function but not willingly. I could but I wont. Cause I'm too scared to move for the roads all seem shallow and dark. I'm alone and I'm scared. " just don't dare.

I showed you the world, gave you a swirl. Then you take and forget, act and react. I get stabbed in the back.

#lovelikethis

Here you go

I am currently on the verge to another mental breakdown but alas, I helped myself with a little treatment called "Not giving a fuck". Nowadays, fucks just keep on rolling all over me and well, I am really really exhausted with all this shit. Like seriously, WORLD GIVE ME PEACE. Please. Cursing is completely relevant right now but hell no, it won't help. IT FUCKING WONT.

Time to just...